Illusion of Happiness

What I want
Is not what I can have
I attach myself to
the unobtainable
In an effort to protect myself
I injure myself anyways
Of my own doing
Of my own mistake

No excuse needed
for time spent together
Falling in love
Maybe not ideal
You cannot always help
Who you love
Not my intention
Unfortunately it is the result

Love is attachment
I cannot help attachment
Sex is just sex
People say
Not interested in just sex
My connection makes it more
I won’t apologize
For what I want

I dream of my
Happily ever after
Not a fairy tale ending
The white picket fence
Maybe… again or not
Without being put in a box.
Being able to be me
being able to be us.

I don’t need a hero
I need you to be you
Not to fix me
I have fixed myself for me
I need you
In my life
Always what I cannot have
An illusion of happiness

*random conglomeration from different snips of notes

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